Comparison Cripples Who We are Called to Be

It’s so easy to compare, isn’t it?

As moms, we compare our kids to their siblings. We compare them to how we were when we were young and we even compare them to our friend’s kids. We compare the food we feed them, the schools they attend, the activities we put them in and how well they match up to other kids their age. It starts the second they are born and it carries through all the years of their lives. We compare our jobs, incomes, houses and stay at home moms versus working moms. We compare our family circumstances to someone else’s and we so quickly find ourselves in a place of discontentment and frustration to the point that it can cripple us.

This is not a, “Don’t compare yourself to anyone else because you are enough” type of message because I don’t believe that self focused and self glorifying mentality is beneficial, but I will say that it’s important to stay in our own lanes. When we find ourselves starting to compare to someone else’s life or situation, I think we need to stop and take these few action steps:

1. Humble ourselves.
   When we start to compare we often elevate ourselves in order to explain why we may not have what someone else has. We must remove ourselves from the pedestal. If we’re being honest, we’re not really that great or that busy or that talented. That may sound harsh, but I can almost hear my Dad telling my teenage self those exact words. The Bible says to think of others as better that ourselves. How often do you truly do that? It’s not in our human nature to stop ourselves before comparing to someone else and think, “Yes, you know what, they are better than me at this or that”, but if we would pause and remind ourselves of this, then the comparison road would stop right there.
   
2. Remember that you are who you are and you have what you have because GOD!
   This should be number one. When we put ourselves in our rightful place and remember that we would be nothing without our good and gracious Father, then it puts a lot of things in perspective. When we step back and realize that we don’t deserve one bit of what we have been given, then it causes us realize how much we truly have to be thankful for.
   
3. Remember that God has you exactly where you are for a purpose.
   If God wanted you to have what the next person has, then He would have entrusted it to you. He didn’t! He gave you the kids that you have and the husband that you married. He gave you the gifts and abilities that you have in order to serve Him and not to sit around and mope about how you don’t have her successful job or the kids that are always dressed in perfect clothes on every occasion. He has you exactly where you are supposed to be right in this moment, even if it means you are drowning in laundry and wearing baby spit up.

When we give ourselves these reminders before walking the road of comparison, it takes a lot of pressure off. We don’t have to be like the next person because God didn’t create us to be like them! We don’t have to parent our kids like someone else, because we are unique in our own way and our kids are different as well. We don’t have to spend hours perfecting someone else’s talent because maybe that’s not the ability that God has given us. We can be happy for others and their achievements because that is the path that God has them on, and He has you on your specific path as well. We must stay in our own lanes and ask God to keep us humble, be thankful for how He created us, and remember that God has us exactly where we are meant to be!