Reading the title of this post either has you saying, “Ya think?!” or it gives you a sigh of relief and releases a weight you’ve been unknowingly carrying. Maybe it humbles you and puts you in your rightful place before God. That’s what it does for me.
I so badly want to be able to do the work in my kid’s hearts. I worry and sense a deep heaviness when it comes to their relationship with the Lord. I take so much of how they “end up” on myself and then I hear Him say, “Stop trying to do what only I can do.” And I’m reminded that what I think is my job is only the work of the Holy Spirit Himself. Do I really believe I have what it takes to change their hearts? Am I trying to play God? Because I can’t and I simply am not God, then what is my role in my child’s life?
As Christian parents,
we are called to train and disciple our children in the way that they should go,
but the heart work is ultimately done by the Holy Spirit.
With that truth in mind, I have to ask myself some challenging questions. Am I disciplining in grace so that they will be drawn to their Heavenly Father or am I trying to take the place of the Holy Spirit and convict their hearts? Or is it with words I say in a condescending tone or shoving a scripture verse down their throats in anger? Don’t get me wrong, we are called to teach our children scripture and to be constantly impressing His commands on them, but is my heart in the right place when I am impressing truth from His Word on them? Deuteronomy 6 says, “Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.” We must be constantly impressing His commandments on our children, but is it effective when we use His Word out of frustration? (I am typing this and in the same breath repenting of how often this is true of me.)
We have a huge job as parents and it should not be taken lightly, but when we think that we determine the outcome of our kids lives and hearts, we have overstepped.
So what do we do as Christian parents? Do we take a backseat and just let God do all the work and hope it works out? No. We must be quick to train, discipline and share God’s Truth with our kids, but in order to do this we must first:
Know Truth by spending time in His Word and allow the Lord to work in us first, as parents. We can’t be who God calls us to be as moms and dads unless we are sitting daily at His feet and soaking in His Word. We must soften our hearts before Him and allow Him to work in us as we raise the next generation.
Next, we must surrender. Our kids are His first. He entrusted them to us. He allowed us the privilege to train them and disciple them and every time we think we hold all control over their future, we must re-surrender their hearts and lives to Him.
Third, we must trust Him. He knows what He is doing in our lives and in our children’s lives. Nothing is wasted and His work in us, and in them, is for a purpose far greater then we can begin to understand. So as we learn to surrender their hearts to Him, we will gain freedom in trusting Him as He writes each of our kids’ stories.
We must also never forget to pray. The biggest way we can battle for our kid’s hearts and souls is through prayer. Let’s bring everything to the One who holds it all. He already knows, but He wants to hear from us and He wants a relationship with us. When we bring our most precious concerns to Him, we can trust that He hears us and acts on our behalf.
If we try to act as the Holy Spirit on behalf of our kids, we are robbing them of their greatest gift. The Bible says that while Jesus was eating with His disciples he said, “Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about.” (Acts 1:4) In John 16:7-8 He says, “But I tell you the truth: It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. When he comes, he will convict the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgement” The Bible also describes the Holy Spirit as a Teacher (John 14:26), a Helper (Romans 8:26), a Guide (John 16:13), our Life-Giver (Romans 8:11), and He is so much more!
Again, if we try to act as the Holy Spirit on behalf of our kids, we are robbing them of their greatest gift. We don’t need to play His role, in fact we can’t! Praise God because He is more than enough! May our voices never overpower the whisper of the Holy Spirit in our kids lives. But may we know Him so that we can share Him with our kids, show them the Holy Spirit through our actions and through how He is working in our lives and be a vessel for Him.
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