These words are spoken often in our home, mostly from my husband to me. I tend to be a spit fire and the one who is quick to defend myself. I’m a mix of passionate, but sensitive. I can hold strong. I’m stubborn and prideful. I often think I’m right and I don’t always stop to think before I speak.
Marriage and motherhood are so refining and I am learning that I am and will continue to be a work in progress. Through (almost) 9 years of marriage and 5 years of being a mama, God continues to reveal areas where my heart needs softening. He has reminded me time and time again to think before I speak and not to assume the worst in my husband or kids. It’s so easy to do that with the ones we love most, isn’t it? We have these expectations of them that they don’t even really know and we hold them to a standard of perfection when it’s not attainable.
“Hunny, assume love.”
When he says it. It’s a quick reminder that he didn’t intend to upset me or start a fight. It gives me a moment to step back and gather my emotions before unloading. It could be anything from a heavy conversation to simply being asked what’s for dinner or if I’ve gotten around to washing his jeans. Something so simple can yield pretty harsh responses if I’m not careful. “Well you could help me with the laundry, do I have to do it all myself?”
It’s so much easier to respond quickly and harshly than to stop and assume love from others and especially the ones closest to us. Assume love from our spouses when they ask if we took the trash out or when our kids ask the same question ten times in a row. Assuming love doesn’t mean rolling over all the time and letting someone walk all over you. It’s not an excuse to let someone hurt you or speak harshly to you. It’s a way to stop and think about it from a different perspective.
Ephesians 4:2:
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
Bear with one another. No one is perfect and we will never be perfect while we are on this earth. We are only responsible for ourselves and often our responses can direct the responses of those around us. So will we assume love in one another and treat each other with gentleness or will we assume the worst in one and cause dissension? Will we humble ourselves and stop to think that maybe there is another side to this story?
Lord, let us be slow to speak. Let us not hold grudges and let us treat others how we would want to be treated. Let us not have even an ounce of pride in our hearts and let us love one another like you love us, assuming the best in each other so we can respond to one another with gentleness and love. Amen.
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